Where’s the Class?

What ever happened to the days of the classy wife? And this is a question that is very much geared towards military wives. It’s no surprise now to see military wives acting in a manner that is distasteful and disrespectful to the role they play into the military life. 

Before I met and married my husband, I had always had a particular view of what a military wife was suppose to act and dress like. I guess I also have those classic movies of war, military life, and even history class to thank. I thought of wives in the base neighborhoods that got along, had dinner with other families, kept their houses clean and desirable to live in, dressed to impress and not to reveal body parts, and participated in functions of the husband’s command in hopes to lend a helping hand. But what has baffled me the most, is seeing how unclassy some military wives can be, and how unrealistic my view of military wives were all along.

For example, when did it become any kind of appropriate for military wives to dress as if they had Miley Cyrus in mind before leaving their house? Ass cheeks, belly buttons, and clevage, are not appropriate as it is for a normal person, but for a wife of a service member to stroll around on base wearing an outfit that revealing… what kind of message are you trying to send? Not to mention that there is a dress code to be followed for base locations, but have you no respect for yourself and your husband? 

Another “nearly nude” act military wives seem to be drawn to is posing in their spouses uniform for photographs…

Go ahead and buckle up for this…

There is NO point in time where it is ANY kind of appropriate for a person that is not trained as a military member to wear the uniform. Not for boudoir, not for “just your husband”, and DEFINITELY never ever ever to post on social media. This is where I want to ask the girls (and yes I say girls because if you do this, you clearly aren’t a lady), do you know what that uniform represents? Let me break it down for you.

That uniform is a symbol of American history. It is what is earned from men and women who commit their entire life to the sacrifices of their country. It is what they train long weeks, endless days, and countless hours for. It’s what they shed blood, sweat, and tears over. It’s what they wear when they have to go to parts of the world that most people would never dream of thinking of, let alone fighting in. It is what so many have died in when they paid the ultimate sacrifice and what so many are still fighting for today. How can anyone with a clear conscious, comprehend that there is an approval to defile a piece of a military uniform by posing nude. It is DISGUSTING. Not to mention, it could very quickly get the service member into trouble, but it almost permanently leaves a bad taste for the wives that have participated in acts such as this one. 

Seeing is how I’m not a “young wife”, my maturity towards some things are different, not to mention I was raised to be a lady. But my husband expects the classiness from me as well. And the way I see it, how a military wife acts is a reflection of the service member. 

Make You Feel My Love.

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Today is Monday, which means one of my favorite shows, The Voice, is on television. I have never really been the one to plan a specific evening around a television show, however, since my husband has been deployed, I have found it quite enjoyable to watch the shows I haven’t had the chance to.

Well, the first artist up sings a beautiful rendition of “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele. This is also the song my husband and I danced to at our wedding. Tug at my heart strings! As the coaches were talking to the artist that was performing, they explained the song in a little more detail. And to be honest, it was goosebumps city.

For any one who isn’t familiar with the lyrics:

“When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet,
But I will never do you wrong.
I’ve known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I’d go hungry; I’d go black and blue,
And I’d go crawling down the avenue.
No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn’t do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love”

These lyrics are saying, I will literally do anything for you and there is nothing in this world that could keep me from showing you my love. When I really listened to this song and looked at the lyrics, the only thing going through my mind was “deployment”. Which is ironic, considering that’s my life right now.

Showing love during a deployment, doesn’t necessarily always look like love. It’s being apart for months that feel like they will NEVER end. It’s cherishing every picture and every memory you have made with one another. For him, it’s traveling to places that are not exactly on your next vacation list, to protect his country and his family. It’s waking up at 2 am to take a phone call, even though you’ve got to be up early. It’s searching for the perfect care package items, so he has a little feeling of home. It’s telling yourself that God and your love for one anther will carry you through this, even on days when you can’t stop crying because you miss the other person so much it hurts. And it’s praying every day for his safe return.

For my husband and I to have danced to this song, just put so much more perspective into one memory that was already beautiful. Because even though we are thousands of miles apart, and still months from seeing each other again, there is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do to make him feel my love.

God IS Good.

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I like to think of being a military wife a little adventurous. I mean, you kind of have to be considering moving to new towns is like changing your wardrobe. And honestly, it’s almost like every day holds a new adventure to discover.

So, my adventure for today was going to a new church, with my friend Courtney; and a very different kind of church than what I grew up in, might I add. Approaching the church from the highway was adventure enough. It was kind of scary, rundown buildings every where and what appeared to be a chop shop for stolen cars. As we pulled into the parking lot, and I see all the people going in, they’re casual. What? Southern Baptist churches on Sunday mornings are high heels and pantyhose kind of churches. Not here.

After walking inside and getting our seats, the atmosphere seemed all to familiar to me. The best way for me to compare it would be to summer church camp. You know the really cool camps you would go to and have AMAZING worship leaders and pastors that really involved everyone in the auditorium. That is this church. Not that I don’t appreciate the church that I grew up in, but singing along with my favorite songs from Christian radio and listening to a Pastor that simply, but boldly relates the message to every day life, was moving.

His message today really gave perspective to some things in life I have been juggling recently. The message itself is titled, “Is God Good?” When I saw that question, it kind of took me back. Like why are you asking that? Of course God is good, duh! But when life throws bad things at us, how do we as Christians justify it by God’s plan? We justify it by saying that God wants to teach us a lesson so He allows for bad things to happen to us. This morning the Pastor put it simply, “God good, Satan bad”. God does not make bad things happen to us, God is only good. God gives us shared control with him; He gives us choices. The society we live in today did not turn bad and evil over night. Our society is a progression from fallen people that has made us a fallen creation. The choices have defined how society is.

Psalm 27:13 says, “I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living”.

Now some of you may be sitting here wondering, “isn’t this blog supposed to involve the military in some way?” Absolutely. Being a military spouse for this short amount of time, I have come to learn that God is the only way to manage this chaos. Whatever you look for is what you will find in life. When I moved to this new town, into a new home, with not that many people that I knew, I could have looked at it in a way that is just the end of the world. My husband leaving for a deployment; I could have taken that to a new level of misery. Yes it’s hard, no I don’t like it, but there is good in what God places in our life. It’s what we chose to either celebrate, tolerate, or eliminate. We as Christians have to put God in that place in our lives where we allow Him to show us the good and not keep him sheltered or shut up in a box and only use Him when things get tough.

God is good, all the time; and all the time, God is good.

My “Magnolia” Story

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A couple months ago, my husband decided to randomly turn the TV to HGTV. There wasn’t anything else on TV that caught our attention, so that’s what we ended up at. I had never really been one to watch HGTV, even though (and not to brag) my crafting skills are pretty up there. Well, the show that just happened to be playing was none other than “Fixer Upper”. Now, I had heard of Chip and Joanna Gaines before via social media, and had personally watched Joanna give her testimony. But, that was the extent of my knowledge to them. They were a hot shot couple in Texas making some killer home renovations. So with my curiosity to a peak, I decided to watch some more. Let me just put it that way, if you have never watched their show, you’re missing out.

Naturally, when I heard that they had a book out, I was ecstatic. This couple was so sweet and chipper on TV, and to see them publicly profess their faith, they were great icons to look up to. So, after finally finding the book, this is where I find myself tonight…

The Magnolia Story started off introducing Joanna and how she met Chip, their dating life, and marriage. I haven’t made it too far into the book, but Joanna mentioned a couple things on page 44 that caught my attention. (Just a little back story, Joanna is referring to her previous work in NYC):

“It’s difficult to put into words, but there was something about that experience that helped me find myself. I would go home every night and write about my experiences- what I’d seen, what I’d done, and sometimes just about whatever I was thinking or feeling. And as I did that, something shifted in me. I started owning who I am, realizing that I was unique and that God had a unique purpose for me. I’d spent my whole life worrying about what people thought about me or whether I was good enough or thinking about what I should be doing instead of really digging down to find out what I wanted to do.

I had always been a religious person. I was brought up in the church, and my parents were very committed to getting the family there every Sunday without fail. So from the age of five to about twenty, religion to me was a matter of, “you do this, and you don’t do this, and you do your best to walk the straight line”

I was good at that. I’m good at following the rules, most of the time. But once I was on my own in New York City, my faith became something very personal. It was no longer about what my parents knew or what my pastor knew. I came to think of God as more of a gracious friend who was accompanying me on this journey, a friend who wanted to carry my burden and speak into my life and shape me into who I really was and who I would become.”

Wow. Major applause to that little section! I, personally, can compare and relate to everything Joanna just said. I was raised in the good, Christian home, followed all the rules, and never found myself in major trouble. I had set myself up for success in my chosen field. But, I wasn’t happy. I was finding myself questioning everything I had accomplished thus far. Not to mention, I kept finding myself hitting road block, after road block. I knew I needed to go back to the drawing board and get God involved more in my life.

Lucky for me, that’s when Jacob came along. Aside from my faith in God, I consider him my second saving grace. When I met him, it was like the big, obnoxious, flashing neon signs going off. Pretty sure God was trying to make sure I didn’t miss the opportunity. Since that day, life has taken a completely different spin for me. Difficult at times, but nothing that I would change.

Being a new wife and have moved to a new town, with new people, new surroundings, new opportunities, it was a bit overwhelming. And with the shocking thought that my husband was going to be gone for several months, I was scared to tackle this alone. But beside the fact that I felt overwhelmed, I had never felt more confident in the person God had made me to be. I actually told Jacob this a few days ago, when I was younger and going through break ups, guys always told me that I was going to make one lucky guy really happy one day and be a great wife, it just wasn’t going to be them. (And boy am I glad). But they were totally right! I did, and I am. There’s not a day that goes by, that Jacob and I are fortunate enough to talk, and he tells me how happy he is that I am his wife. Talk about a total heart-throb!

My faith now, is stronger than ever. I find myself needing guidance from God every single day. There is something new I learn, every single day. Being Jacob’s wife, has become what I love to do. Even though he isn’t here right this minute, it’s the purpose behind it, and knowing I am keeping our home safe while he is away keeping his country safe. It’s totally normal to be in a place of absent mind and question the plans that God has for you. We’re human. Take a step back, and go to the drawing board. There is nothing in the world stronger than prayer, and faith.

Introduction

With great thought, (and some hesitation), I have decided to start my own blog.

You know how sometimes you just like the idea of something, and you think, “yeah right, not me; like ever”. Well, that’s been my the battle between my heart and brain over starting my own blog. But by God’s sweet grace, I truly believe that I have a message for someone to hear.

A little about me, I am 25 years “young” (yes, I have reached that point, it’s better to say young). I am married to the love of my life, Jacob, and he is currently serving in the United States Marine Corps. We are in the midst of our first year of marriage, and first deployment. What a combination, right? I’m a Criminal Justice major, working on finishing my Bachelors and have previously worked in a county jail. My husband and I are both firm believers in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

Since marrying Jacob, life has been a whirlwind of events. Marriage, the military, and school has given me a run for my money some days! However, with God on my side, anything is possible. I hope that you find this blog helpful, possibly funny, and if I’m lucky, inspirational. 15540914_10103775744080613_1528171747191335616_o